Man, 2021 was a year, wasn't it? If there's ever been a year where perspectives were seemingly so two-sided; vaccine or no vaccine, together or in isolation, who is or isn't lying. And yet, one commonality, shared with many of the other points I've made in the past: a misunderstanding or outright refusal to listen to the opposing side leads to a gap in communication, and least when said communication doesn't turn into a full brawl of arguments.
I was originally going to try and make a new post around New Years, but, as usual for me, the thoughts I had in my head needed something more. It would be easy to add to the stirring of the pot, even if I would try to find a grey zone in between, though at the same time, I would also just be another voice in the cacophony. So, today, I decided to look inward, and found something I think most people could benefit from. An introspection.
How many of you are familiar with the phrase "losing yourself in the crowd"? It plays on the idea that we, as the individuals we are, often look to being part of something bigger than we are. Our tendencies to join the larger groups of people, sometimes even just out of curiosity, occasionally for causes we ourselves may not fully understand. Some get pulled so hard into these streams that it becomes their identity; and to challenge the idea is to attack them personally. Others keep just far enough away that the indifference to it becomes the identity, often seen as just idling on the sidelines, even if their personally opinions may be more controversial.
Have you ever looked at where you are today and found yourself asking "How did I end up here?" It's more common than you might think. Some even add on a "Is this where I'm meant to be?" Both are not easy questions to answer. Both can pull you in directions you didn't even know you could go. Whether that's good or bad depends on whether the light at the end of the tunnel is a hillside or a train. And, if I'm being completely honest, I can't exactly rule out both also being a viable answer.
Typically, it starts with imagining various points where different decisions could have been made, and the results of the new choice. In my opinion, it's here where most make a mistake: being too critical of oneself. We often think of these other paths as much, much better despite the fact that we, honestly, could never truly know if it would happen as we think it will. Because we know, only, what had happened because of the choice we made. If we find ourselves unsure of where our path has led, we almost immediately find ourselves believing the alternative must have been better, even if it may not have been.
I find myself thinking of Chrono Trigger again on this thought, of how we can visit various points in time and make small changes to effect one of the points in the future. Often it leads to better equipment or a key item needed at a different point in time to continue the process. Except that there's one possibility that, to some, may seem like the better option: through enough fights with the robot, Gato, at the fair, it is entirely possible to defeat the main boss at the very first encounter. Sounds appealing, right? Defeat the boss and the game ends, credits roll, and you can move on.
Here's my counter point: by doing so, you never meet all the characters in the game, never even get to see the story of going between points in time, never effect anything that would've been effected after that point. Instead, what you get to see are two characters getting a bunch a fair points before an accident at the main attraction and a weird creature attacks them. That's it. For a game that is typically held in high praises for it's storyline, I would have to imagine that this particular ending is disappointing.
So, give yourself some slack when answering those internal questions. Sometimes trying to be the absolute best you can be can be rewarding. Other times, you could find yourself never experiencing the grand stories that you tell to people you know, maybe not even to those people, as you may never have met. It's about how you continue forward with what you do today, not the circumstances that brought you here, that really effect your future.
Who knows, maybe you are already on the best timeline, and don't even realize it.
Just a penny's worth of thought, for those looking inward.
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