A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: What is Normal?

 Seems like a strange question to ask, doesn't it?  "What is Normal?"  I'm sure most of us at least have an idea of an answer as well, even though in reality, that answer is rarely so simple.  My normal seems to be posting here about once a year, even though I do mean to update Penny's Worth more frequently.

In truth, I've actually had this particular post in mind for quite some time already, it just hadn't seemed ready until I found myself asking that very question and finding myself curious of the answer that I had.  We constantly find ourselves looking outward, toward the others around us, when the reality is that it is often inward, within ourselves, that the answer is hidden.  That "normal" is much more individual than we give it credit for.  We each have our own to some degree.

Perhaps it is something I've known for a long time without realizing it.  Perhaps you have as well.  Personally, I've always seemed to favor myself as the outcast when it's come to "normal" and have, ironically, found that I have become my version of just that purely out of the habit.  Because that is just what it is, in my opinion: our habits of day to day that we do without thinking of it.  And yet, we are constantly being told of or seeking it as a connection to one another.  How many times have you heard a parent tell a child to "act normal" even if they, in truth, you might not be able to tell them apart from a similar child behaviorly elsewhere?

Even within groups of people, the "normal" does not typically apply to every individual of that group.  It reminds me of an interaction I had with some online friends during a Pokemon discord game some time ago.  In it, teams of up to three people can battle it out either against randomly spawned AI teams or teams of other players.  In this particular battle, we were up against one of the hardest possible AI teams: a named team called Team Charm.  We had a particular rivalry against Team Charm priorly, and up to this point, had been unable to defeat them on our server.  We were running type advantage counters, as I would say would be typical of players of this game, and were still coming up short.  The thing was, countering my opponents was not "normal" for my style of play, I was much more accustomed to absorbing hits off of allies or playing the game to more outlast the opponents rather than defeat them quickly.  The trick of it was, my character I had the most experience doing so had a type disadvantage against Team Charm, so I was urged against bringing him, for fear it would quickly become a 2 versus 3 game if I had done so.  My counterpoint was that, in bringing him, I could guarantee the focus on myself, and hopefully buy my partners enough time to take the most powerful member of their team out and ensure our victory.  Because that was "normal" to me.  I wasn't expecting to survive to the end of the fight.  I simply wanted to buy them as much time as I could, because I was practiced at doing so.  

Was it the choice that gave us the win that day?  Truthfully, there are so many other factors that I don't think I could make that call.  What I do know is that, despite putting myself at that disadvantage, I felt more confident than I had the previous attempts.  Perhaps that is what "normal" should be.  The choices that give us confidence in our actions, whatever they are.  And what that is... well, that's not for me to say for anyone other than myself.  We decide our own normalcy, even if it's rejecting normalcy

Just a Penny's Worth of Thoughts, for those typical and atypical alike.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: Introspection

 Man, 2021 was a year, wasn't it?  If there's ever been a year where perspectives were seemingly so two-sided; vaccine or no vaccine, together or in isolation, who is or isn't lying.  And yet, one commonality, shared with many of the other points I've made in the past: a misunderstanding or outright refusal to listen to the opposing side leads to a gap in communication, and least when said communication doesn't turn into a full brawl of arguments.

I was originally going to try and make a new post around New Years, but, as usual for me, the thoughts I had in my head needed something more.  It would be easy to add to the stirring of the pot, even if I would try to find a grey zone in between, though at the same time, I would also just be another voice in the cacophony.  So, today, I decided to look inward, and found something I think most people could benefit from.  An introspection.

How many of you are familiar with the phrase "losing yourself in the crowd"?  It plays on the idea that we, as the individuals we are, often look to being part of something bigger than we are.  Our tendencies to join the larger groups of people, sometimes even just out of curiosity, occasionally for causes we ourselves may not fully understand.  Some get pulled so hard into these streams that it becomes their identity; and to challenge the idea is to attack them personally.  Others keep just far enough away that the indifference to it becomes the identity, often seen as just idling on the sidelines, even if their personally opinions may be more controversial.

Have you ever looked at where you are today and found yourself asking "How did I end up here?"  It's more common than you might think.  Some even add on a "Is this where I'm meant to be?"  Both are not easy questions to answer.  Both can pull you in directions you didn't even know you could go.  Whether that's good or bad depends on whether the light at the end of the tunnel is a hillside or a train.  And, if I'm being completely honest, I can't exactly rule out both also being a viable answer.  

Typically, it starts with imagining various points where different decisions could have been made, and the results of the new choice.  In my opinion, it's here where most make a mistake: being too critical of oneself.  We often think of these other paths as much, much better despite the fact that we, honestly, could never truly know if it would happen as we think it will.  Because we know, only, what had happened because of the choice we made.  If we find ourselves unsure of where our path has led, we almost immediately find ourselves believing the alternative must have been better, even if it may not have been.

I find myself thinking of Chrono Trigger again on this thought, of how we can visit various points in time and make small changes to effect one of the points in the future.  Often it leads to better equipment or a key item needed at a different point in time to continue the process.  Except that there's one possibility that, to some, may seem like the better option: through enough fights with the robot, Gato, at the fair, it is entirely possible to defeat the main boss at the very first encounter.  Sounds appealing, right?  Defeat the boss and the game ends, credits roll, and you can move on.

Here's my counter point: by doing so, you never meet all the characters in the game, never even get to see the story of going between points in time, never effect anything that would've been effected after that point.  Instead, what you get to see are two characters getting a bunch a fair points before an accident at the main attraction and a weird creature attacks them.  That's it.  For a game that is typically held in high praises for it's storyline, I would have to imagine that this particular ending is disappointing.

So, give yourself some slack when answering those internal questions.  Sometimes trying to be the absolute best you can be can be rewarding.  Other times, you could find yourself never experiencing the grand stories that you tell to people you know, maybe not even to those people, as you may never have met.  It's about how you continue forward with what you do today, not the circumstances that brought you here, that really effect your future.  

Who knows, maybe you are already on the best timeline, and don't even realize it.

Just a penny's worth of thought, for those looking inward.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: Our Own Worst Enemies

In my history of observation, very few things have outright bothered me.  Are there things I disagree with?  Sure, but those can typically be explained as a difference of perspective, and require an understanding.  However, if there is truly one thing that has the tendency to bother me the most, it is the thought that because one thing is correct, everything else must be incorrect.

It's a notion you see everywhere these days; whether it be the discussion of vaccine versus mask, an old debate internet on the color of a dress, or something as simple as how one plays a game.  Search long enough nearly any discussion and you will find, somewhere, a perspective that believes, resolutely, that they are right, and everyone else is wrong, usually to the point of ignoring all discussion otherwise.

My belief has always been that there are routinely many solutions, one must simply approach the problem from a new angle.  Is it simple? No, not in the slightest.  And, usually requires quite a bit of grey area discussion.  Some people have had nasty reactions to medicines, including vaccines, and so choose the avoidance option because, for them, it is safer.  Others may have a disadvantage, one that, in the case of the dress, prevents them from being able to accurately perceive certain colors.

Gaming can often be the biggest exposure to this particular dispute, however.  You can find sources all over the place of "Run this character this way" or "This plus that equals victory", often to the detriment of either the readers or followers, all of whom have various skill levels and preferences of play.  And it bugs me on just how many of those get lost due to them following the crowd.  Giving in to that urge to belong, even if it doesn't feel right.

We truly are our own worst enemies.

Just a Penny's Worth of Thoughts, for those who feel swept up by the flow.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: The Traps We Forget

 It's possible to read that subtitle and ask "How?"  How do you forget about a trap?  Surely it had a purpose, right?  But, sometimes those purposes change or, perhaps, get lost with time.

I think that some of what we see nowadays could be old traps being triggered, perhaps even by people that didn't even realize they were traps.  Bad situations with no real "good" outcome, brought about by a few too many ingredients being at the right place at the wrong time.  Even as I step warily around it myself, I can already feel the polarizing nature, minds snapping to this situation or that experience at just the words, an easy trap to find.

Then how was it forgotten?  The simple answer is that times, and people, change.  It is the kind of trap laid by "think first" people for "act first" people.  Two groups that are hard to get to communicate, for obvious reasons.  The more challenging, and perhaps more true, answer is that it is the kind of trap, born of experience, that becomes second nature.

A bit like a bad experience with an animal.  They can seem aggressive, hissing and growling, when they are simply being defensive.  And yet, how many people do you know that have ignored those warnings, been bit or scratched, and from then on simply decide that those particular animals just "don't like me"?  Maybe even continue to confuse those creatures as being aggressive toward them specifically?  A personal trap, in comparison, no?  Those are easier to set than you might think.  Have you ever convinced yourself you dislike something you would normally have liked, for one reason or another?  Perhaps the opposite?  Was that reason controversial in nature, say akin to missing characters in a game, or poor quality from an otherwise beloved developer?

It is, in my opinion, as easy to trap ourselves with our biases as it is to trap someone else with theirs.  But, once we have those traps, they are not easily removed to begin with, and our memories of why may fade over time.  So, how to remove them?  For some, we cannot without triggering them, snapping it quickly and, ideally, as safely as possible.  Something that is rarely so easy.  A personal bias, some small, defensive attachment for the off chance our past returns to haunt us... only to have it be why the past returns.

There are reasons we were always told to heed our histories.

Just a penny's worth of thoughts, for those trying to avoid being snapped at the ankle.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: Confidence

It's always surprising to me how a matter of perspective can change even our understood definition of words.  Take today's subject: Confidence by the dictionary is defined as having a belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.  I don't think there's very many people who would dispute that, true.  However, if I were to ask you to identify an example on sight?  I'm sure there would be a variety of answers.  Of people or items, perhaps with "Old Faithful" monikers and tales of how they earned the title.

In fact, it can go even further.  A person's self-confidence can depend on certain situations.  Some may need it for work every day.  Other's for a competition or an event.  Plus, it could come and fade, depending on the day or situation.  And, sometimes, just like any other topic of mine, a different perspective could make all the difference.

I was recently in conversation with some recent friends of mine, and had let slip my old endeavors on Youtube.  For me, at the end of that trial period, it had seemed like a losing battle.  I had neither the equipment nor the prowess to fulfill what I had hoped to achieve.  Not too mention, if I'm being completely honest, my non-scripted motif likely didn't help either.  It was one of the reasons I rarely, if ever, asked for likes, comments, or subscriptions; which you see all over the place, even back then.  I wasn't confident in my work, and thus, didn't feel like I had anything worth asking people to do those things for.

What surprised me, as I proceeded to begrudgingly link my channel while calling out my subpar content, was that, in their eyes, it wasn't nearly as bad as I felt it was.  I had received supporting notions for nearly a decade's old work that I felt like I didn't deserve, back in the day or now.

We can often be our own worst enemy in such things.  We objectively point out our mistakes despite them going unnoticed, quite nearly because we know those mistakes, almost as if it taunts us to see where our system struggles to keep up, or that a self-built figure may be attached backwards.  Or, we could fool ourselves into believing the opposite, that a gimmick is overshadowing a sound strategy simply because we want it to mean something, whether for ourselves or the ones watching us.

It can be a bit like polarized screens or optical illusions.  From one angle, you see an opaque or jumbled image, but then you start to tilt your head, if only to watch how it changes as you do.  Sometimes, you see that hidden face.  Occasionally, you find just the right spot for a mirrored reflection.  The question to ask?  How about this: Which viewpoint makes you the most confident in what you see?  Are you more certain with the elderly lady or the young woman?  The mirror or the black screen?

And further more, do you base the confidence of your answer on yourself, or on another?

Just a Penny's Worth of Thoughts, for those confident in the words.