A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: The Traps We Forget

 It's possible to read that subtitle and ask "How?"  How do you forget about a trap?  Surely it had a purpose, right?  But, sometimes those purposes change or, perhaps, get lost with time.

I think that some of what we see nowadays could be old traps being triggered, perhaps even by people that didn't even realize they were traps.  Bad situations with no real "good" outcome, brought about by a few too many ingredients being at the right place at the wrong time.  Even as I step warily around it myself, I can already feel the polarizing nature, minds snapping to this situation or that experience at just the words, an easy trap to find.

Then how was it forgotten?  The simple answer is that times, and people, change.  It is the kind of trap laid by "think first" people for "act first" people.  Two groups that are hard to get to communicate, for obvious reasons.  The more challenging, and perhaps more true, answer is that it is the kind of trap, born of experience, that becomes second nature.

A bit like a bad experience with an animal.  They can seem aggressive, hissing and growling, when they are simply being defensive.  And yet, how many people do you know that have ignored those warnings, been bit or scratched, and from then on simply decide that those particular animals just "don't like me"?  Maybe even continue to confuse those creatures as being aggressive toward them specifically?  A personal trap, in comparison, no?  Those are easier to set than you might think.  Have you ever convinced yourself you dislike something you would normally have liked, for one reason or another?  Perhaps the opposite?  Was that reason controversial in nature, say akin to missing characters in a game, or poor quality from an otherwise beloved developer?

It is, in my opinion, as easy to trap ourselves with our biases as it is to trap someone else with theirs.  But, once we have those traps, they are not easily removed to begin with, and our memories of why may fade over time.  So, how to remove them?  For some, we cannot without triggering them, snapping it quickly and, ideally, as safely as possible.  Something that is rarely so easy.  A personal bias, some small, defensive attachment for the off chance our past returns to haunt us... only to have it be why the past returns.

There are reasons we were always told to heed our histories.

Just a penny's worth of thoughts, for those trying to avoid being snapped at the ankle.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: Confidence

It's always surprising to me how a matter of perspective can change even our understood definition of words.  Take today's subject: Confidence by the dictionary is defined as having a belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.  I don't think there's very many people who would dispute that, true.  However, if I were to ask you to identify an example on sight?  I'm sure there would be a variety of answers.  Of people or items, perhaps with "Old Faithful" monikers and tales of how they earned the title.

In fact, it can go even further.  A person's self-confidence can depend on certain situations.  Some may need it for work every day.  Other's for a competition or an event.  Plus, it could come and fade, depending on the day or situation.  And, sometimes, just like any other topic of mine, a different perspective could make all the difference.

I was recently in conversation with some recent friends of mine, and had let slip my old endeavors on Youtube.  For me, at the end of that trial period, it had seemed like a losing battle.  I had neither the equipment nor the prowess to fulfill what I had hoped to achieve.  Not too mention, if I'm being completely honest, my non-scripted motif likely didn't help either.  It was one of the reasons I rarely, if ever, asked for likes, comments, or subscriptions; which you see all over the place, even back then.  I wasn't confident in my work, and thus, didn't feel like I had anything worth asking people to do those things for.

What surprised me, as I proceeded to begrudgingly link my channel while calling out my subpar content, was that, in their eyes, it wasn't nearly as bad as I felt it was.  I had received supporting notions for nearly a decade's old work that I felt like I didn't deserve, back in the day or now.

We can often be our own worst enemy in such things.  We objectively point out our mistakes despite them going unnoticed, quite nearly because we know those mistakes, almost as if it taunts us to see where our system struggles to keep up, or that a self-built figure may be attached backwards.  Or, we could fool ourselves into believing the opposite, that a gimmick is overshadowing a sound strategy simply because we want it to mean something, whether for ourselves or the ones watching us.

It can be a bit like polarized screens or optical illusions.  From one angle, you see an opaque or jumbled image, but then you start to tilt your head, if only to watch how it changes as you do.  Sometimes, you see that hidden face.  Occasionally, you find just the right spot for a mirrored reflection.  The question to ask?  How about this: Which viewpoint makes you the most confident in what you see?  Are you more certain with the elderly lady or the young woman?  The mirror or the black screen?

And further more, do you base the confidence of your answer on yourself, or on another?

Just a Penny's Worth of Thoughts, for those confident in the words.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: The chimes that bind

 Here's one that you may not even think about: why does some music seem to divide those that hear it?  It seems common when meeting new people, either in real life or online, that at some point the question of favorite tunes comes up, and even more common that people will either be specifically for or against certain types.

This is especially odd for me, giving that anyone who's been around me long enough knows exactly the kind of music I prefer: video game soundtrack.  I've had more than a few encounters over the years where someone has walked up to me at work, phone drawn, sometimes with music already playing, and been asked only for them to receive a headshake and a "You probably won't have it", with the occasional "Try me" and "Oh..." following depending on their adamancy.

The simple observation is that, for many, music is their escape, for others a tone setter, and for me, well, it's more of the cherry on an ice cream cone.  I've always said I like the music to tell it's own story, as an explanation for my lack of lyricals.  I can listen to Arata Iiyoshi's "Sky Tower" or Jeremy Soule's "March through Norrhart" and feel like I can immediately visualize what is occuring.  Granted, I have played their games of origin, which I can't say hasn't skewed it slightly.

And, in truth, it's not that I don't have any lyrical songs in my library, it's just that they are a very small part of it in comparison, though usually with a similar source.  Jon Licht's "Honor for All", Asja Kadric's "Fear not this Night", and Breaking Benjamin's "Blow Me Away" from hearing the non-lyric versions as I played Dishonored, Guild Wars 2, and Halo 2 for example.  But, their meanings are different than say someone going the other direction.

That's where I think things get cloudy for people when talking of music.  Like many things, origin can play a big factor in how they view or even hear it.  Sure, as a pokemon person, I am well aware of the "Pokemon Theme Song", but, means I was always more into the games than the show, the "Pokemon Red/Blue Opening Theme", which I should add you can hear in almost any of the other opening themes, carries significantly more weight for me than even that iconic song.

How to bridge the gap between origins honestly begins with acknowledging there is a gap in the first place, as well as knowing that some of them might be in less friendly places than others.  Beyond that?  I would compare it to a roguelike game, where everything after the start changes every playthrough.  Knowing whether you succeed or fail is impossible to tell until you start through the dungeon.  The real question is how long you think you'll keep playing until you decide to stop.

Just a Penny's Worth of Thoughts, for those with an ear to the sky.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: Nostalgia

 With my ten year highschool reunion, I've found myself revisiting a perspective I haven't seen in some time, an old practice ground if you will.  The observer in the crowd.

It may soumd strange at first; have I not been an observer with each post I've made before.  The difference?  This time I'm a silent member of the crowd, rather than the observer outside of it.  I call it a practice groumd because I feel I can honestly say that school is where I developed my observation and perspective abilities, though I doubt they even suspected.  They might not even have realized it last night even.

And, it's an interesting perspective to talk over: one of missing information more often than not, as I kept jumping between and different points at various times.  Could I tell you why there was excitement over bloodtypes O and A?  No.  What of the outcome of a misadventure involving a gas line?  No, though if I heard correctly that one may still in progress.  And what of the spouses, who come from classes of 200+, being explained why this is a big deal for our class of sub-100?  I detected some confusion lingering, but that one I feel is more on the difference of perspective between the two.

The thing is, sometimes having all the information is unecessary, or perhaps even detrimental.  I know enough to know that some of the jabs at each other were just callbacks to years past, if not always received that way.  Enough to know some of the small, bickering asides are likely to reach their conclusion either later in the night or perhaps this morning, when one or both sides are more sober than they were.  And don't ask me how the conversation moved from Call of Duty to Donkey Kong 64, but by golly, I knew Chunky Kong was the name they were searching for about the coconut bazooka.

It's something I think people misunderstand, living in an age where knowledge is at our fingertips.  It's the pox of curiosity that we ask more questions simply be receiving an answer.  Some are satisfied with just that, others have to delve down the rabbit hole, sometimes a decent way.  But, a surprisingly common truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Also, in the off chance they read this or it gets shared on the reunion page, the cupcake was absolutely delicious.

Just a penny's worth of thoughts, for those nostalgic for the old days.

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts: Solitude

Seems a strange topic, doesn't it?  Solitude can mean different things to different people, just like anything else, sure.  For some, it's something to yearn for, somewhere to escape from day to day troubles.  Others may choose to define it more as a punishment of choices, an ending effect that causes loneliness.  But then, why speak of solitude where I usually talk of bringing people together?  Contradictory in a sense, but I feel like there's more to it than the first impressions.

My impression of solitude was always less of the where and, in some cases, the who.  The what is what peaks my interest.  The peace or the chaos, depending on who you ask.  And, perhaps, that the ones who feel dread are simply misplacing where their "true" solitude lies.  That it doesn't have to mean alone.

Have you ever had those certain someones that just being around eases you? Perhaps a group of them?  Who's to say that that, in itself, isn't a form of solitude?  Or even a particular activity or focus, perhaps even location?  I'd be willing to bet answering those questions has you seeing the grey, whether your own or someone else's.

The question then becomes what to do with the knowledge.  Do you help a buddy break through an invisible wall, or do you decide that, maybe, just maybe, aligning with dragons doesn't seem so bad?  One-size fits all is always a little big or small for someone, after all.

It's a bit like playing a board game.  Everyone is looking for the same goal, but may have to take a different path to get to it.  Some find it easier through competition, others cooperation.  But it's always the same goal.

Sometimes you just have to realize that some of us are playing a different game.

Just a penny's worth of thoughts, for those comfortable enough to read them.